Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
