then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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