You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize
