Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
