just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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