I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
