there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
