dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
