the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There's always time for handjobs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize