Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
