Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
