I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
