If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
