Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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