I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
