And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
