I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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