So drunk, too bad you don't want this
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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