quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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