I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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