My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize