You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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