i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
bring money and cleavage
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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