ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
