it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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