so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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