wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
