i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
