Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
