i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
