His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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