I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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