420 ftw
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
