Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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