Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
