How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"it" just moved
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
