she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need a burrito and a hug.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
