Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
