I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
