I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
