i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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