the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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