when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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