only if we run a train.
done.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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