never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
