On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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