You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
