i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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