Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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