bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
