Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
