I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
