Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
