whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
