glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
