I didn't shave. On purpose
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
