If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
